Haunted House
by JamiesFanGirl
Summary: The cast does Phantom of the Opera. Why? Because we weird writers love it, that's why!
1. Pata Pata

**Disclaimers: Have Been Moved to the End**

**A/N: **Don't ask what inspired me to have the cast of _House _do a musical, because I don't know either.

* * *

Chapter One  
"_Pata Pata" / Casting Call_

_Sacude bien la cadera asa pata pata  
Sacude bien la cadera asa pata pata  
Sacude bien la cadera asa pata pata  
Sacude bien la cadera asa pata pata_

_Y meneaba y meneaba asa pata pata  
Y meneaba y meneaba asa pata  
Y meneaba y meneaba asa pata pata  
Y meneaba y meneaba asa pata_

Lisa Cuddy looked anxiously over the shoulder of the gentleman in front of her. "What are they doing?"

"Rehearsing 'Pata Pata'…Which might end up as the closing number. Or somewhere in the middle. Claire hasn't decided yet."

Stacy Warner joined Lisa in the aisle. "What's 'Pata Pata' and who's Claire?"

"Claire is the Director, Choreographer and Swing," replied the gentleman patiently. "I don't admit to understanding very much about the history of the tune, but as far as I've heard, 'Pata Pata' is a traditional South African social song. There is a dance that goes with it,but Claire decided she wanted a bit more of a Latin feel to it, hence what you're seeing in front of you. At any rate, 'Pata Pata' is a songClaire heard on television the other nightand she became determined to do something with it."

"The first thing being to get rid of that silly bunny hop," interjected a second gentleman, who had suddenly appeared by Lisa's shoulder.

"Which is not part of the original dance," added the first.

"Right."

"Claire is so mad about 'Pata Pata' that she even went off and learned a bit of Xhosa, so she could sing the song properly."

By the time the men were finished discussing the song, the cast of the production had cleared off the stage and Claire was clapping her hands.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! My name is Claire Havilland and I am the director of your lovely little production. I see some of you have already met my loyal staff members…We have one of our producers, William Morrison." She pointed to the second gentleman. "Our casting director, Arthur Robinson." Claire gestured to a third gentleman that was coming down the aisle. "Our other producer, Matthew Parker." She pointed to the first gentleman. "And of course, our lovely choreographer, Bagaelia, who I am told is outside taking a call at the moment."

Claire hopped off the stage and got closer to the crowd that was milling about the aisles. "Now, if you will all take your seats, Arthur is handing out copies of the libretto and we will begin here in a moment."

As the scripts began filtering through the audience, groans rent the air.

"_Fiddler on the Roof_? Why _Fiddler on the Roof_?"

"Can't we do _Cabaret_?"

"What about _Phantom_?"

"I was hoping for _Thoroughly Modern Millie _or _Forever Plaid_."

"_How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying_?"

"You aren't going to succeed with _Fiddler_! What about _Jesus Christ Superstar_ or maybe _Godspell_?"

"If we can't get romantic with _The Phantom of the Opera_, at least give us _The King and I_!"

"_Miss Saigon _would be fun!"

"At least it's not _The Music Man_. If I've seen that show once, I've seen it a thousand times!"

When everyone finished complaining, they found Claire back on stage.

"Are we all quite finished?" Claire's hands were on her hips and she gave everyone a look as if they had all been naughty children. "You're all _quite _suited to this musical, whether you like it or not.

"We'll start from the top." The director opened up a notebook, pattered down the stairs, and took her seat toward the back of the house with her producers.

"I need someone to read Tevye. He's a heavyset gentleman, anywhere from 45-65 years of age, and is able to sing baritone, about low A flat to high F. Any takers?" Clearly annoyed by the silence, Claire continued, "Doctor Wilson. How about you?"

"Oh, no. I couldn't."

The director rolled her eyes. "Golde, a stubborn woman from age 40 to 55. She is a Mezzo, and can handle from low A to E flat. Ms. Warner, give it a try."

"Uh…no."

"Uh, _yes_."

"I don't think so, Ms. Havilland. I'm sorry."

"Alright. Next we have Tzeital, Tevye and Golde's eldest daughter, who is anywhere from 18-25. She's in love with the tailor and is a Mezzo who can make it from low B to D sharp. Doctor Cameron, would you give the part of Tzeital a try?"

Allison gave a fake cough, then croaked, "I think I'm losing my voice."

Claire sighed and rolled her eyes. "None of you want to do _Fiddler on the Roof, _do you?"

"We said that before!" Gregory House exclaimed.

"Fine, fine. We'll take a ten minute break and when we come back, we'll be working from the libretto to _Phantom of the Opera_, and I will have the cast completely set. There will be no auditions and no changes. Now shoo!"

* * *

**Disclaimer:** _House, M.D._, it's cast, characters and plotsare property of Heel & Toe Films, NBC Universal Television, Bad Hat Harry Productions and Shore Z Productions. The show was created by David Shore and has been written by Gloria Muzio, Daniel Attias, Paris Barclay and many, many more.

_The Fiddler on the Roof _was written by Jerry Bock and Sheldon Harnick, and has been produced by too many companies to name since birth several decades ago.

_The Phantom of the Opera _was written by Gaston Leroux and turned into a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber, withlyrics by Charles Hart and Richard Stilgoe. The musical is currently property of the Really Useful Group, and the libretto I am working from is in the back of _The Complete Phantom of the Opera_ by George Perry.

_Pata Pata _is a traditional South African social song, and is most often sung by Miriam Makeba.

_uP tHiNg_ is a magical extravaganza currently in concept form. The show was written and choreographed by Sanar and will be produced by RisingSun Productions after it has completed gestation and found the proper backing.


	2. A Brief Respite

**A/N: **Sorry for the rocky start. I had to change musicals because I couldn't find a libretto for _Fiddler _without actually paying for it, and I already have it for Phantom… (The version from _The Complete Phantom of the Opera_, just so you know.)

My apologies if House seems a tad OOC…I'm between the _Stuart Little _movies and season 1 (the latter of which NetFlix will deliver next week).

**_Standard Disclaimer Still Applies_**

* * *

Chapter Two  
_A Brief Respite_

"You're full of it!" House crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

"No, I'm serious!" Allison tried not to giggle. "I think you're going to end up as the Phantom. Don't you think so, Doctor Cuddy?"

"Oh, yes!" Lisa nodded enthusiastically.

"He's certainly got the right attitude!" jibed Stacy.

"Of course, if you aren't interested, I will certainly take your part." By the tone of his voice, James was fairly preening himself.

"I don't think it's a matter of whether or not Dr. House _wants _the part," interrupted Eric. "It's more like if Ms. Havilland _chooses_ him to play the Phantom, then House has no other option."

"I could quit," offered Greg.

"You won't," muttered Robert. "You'd rather turn in your stethoscope than pass this up."

"That sounds good too." House agreed.

"House!" The group exclaimed in unison.

"A little bit of community service never hurt anyone," sniffed Dr. Cuddy.

"How do you figure?"

"Figure what?"

"How do you figure that doing this is community service?" House was clearly annoyed.

"It's more of an emblematic thing," said James.

"Yeah. Emblematic of you snapping at people in a location other than the hospital!" Eric muttered.

"Now, now!" Lisa scolded. "Try to act like men and not two-year-olds, hmm?"

Stacy glanced at her watch. "Bickering time is over, boys. We need to get back into the theatre, or Ms. Havilland will have our hides."

* * *

_**Thank Yous**_

--Sally Skellington: My first reviewer…Yay!

--Dr. Colander: If you can figure out how to work the Muppets in without totally f-ing up the story, I'm open to suggestions!

--100 cc Morphine: Glad to know that we're on the same page about Cuddy! ;)

* * *

_**Before I Forget…**_

If I keep getting a good response, I will mention this to Hugh (or his agent, or whoever answers) when I write to England for an autographed picture. (It's going to be a few weeks, though…I don't have enough money for an International Reply Coupon at the moment.)


	3. Planning Period I

**A/N: **I believe I mentioned before that there were little inside things to each chapter. Those are now available from me, by email. Just request a copy, and I will make a list of everyone, so that I will email you each time I update the list.

**_Standard Disclaimer Still Applies_**

* * *

Chapter Three  
_Planning Period_

"Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen!" Claire boomed the crowd filed back into theatre. "I am glad to see that all of you have chosen to return." She gave House a sharp look, but he refused to meet her gaze. "Now then. The sooner you take your seats, the sooner we can resume this meeting. Alright?"

Before everyone had barely had a chance to mill toward their places, Claire gestured wildly to her assistants to begin passing things out.

"You are now receiving your copies of the _Phantom _libretto. If you still have your copy of the _Fiddler _libretto, you are asked to turn it in at this time. And before you ask, the cover is blue so that you may distinguish the libretto from the other items you are receiving.

"Along with your libretto, you should be receiving a pencil and a highlighter. These are on loan, so please return them after the meeting. From now on, you are to bring a sharpened pencil with a good eraser to every rehearsal. We will be making changes to the script from time to time, and you need to have it on hand to make notes when we begin blocking. Yes, Dr. Chase?"

"When will we find out our parts?"

"In due time, Doctor. I do not want all of you highlighting, making notes and chattering while I'm giving you your information, so all of you will find out your parts at the end.

"You are also receiving a thin book with a pink cover. The songs are in the libretto, but only the lyrics are present. The pink-covered book contains the lyrics _and _the music, so you can practice at home with a piano or whatever you like. Copies of a CD are coming around, as well. This recording was done when they shot the movie last year, and is far superior to many of the other recordings you might find on the market, along with that of the original cast. When we go off-script, you will be turning this CD in for a new one without the lyrics. Like the first one, you will be expected to utilize this compact disc for rehearsing your music for at least an hour a day, though more is recommended. Are all of you with me so far?"

The group mumbled and nodded.

"Excellent. The book with the green cover is the calendar. I realize the scheduling blocks are not very big, so I have provided you with several blank, lined pages to add any extra dates and scheduling notes that you may have.

"We're going to go over the schedule next, so please listen carefully – this is **very **important." Claire paused and accepted a glass of water from one of her assistants. "Today's date is the 10th, as you can see, because 'Casting Call' is printed on the calendar, and that is where you are right now.

"Tomorrow, we will be taking a tour of the theatre you are sitting in right now. You are expected to report no later than 4:30 p.m., so please remember that in this Company, on time is late and early is on time. We will not be doing anything else tomorrow as far as the show is concerned, because _uP tHiNg _is rehearsing most of the day, and then the production crew will be setting up starting about an hour before we arrive.

"Wednesday, we are going to see our show as put on by another company. You are expected to arrive at 3:00 p.m., because we will be going over the libretto before we depart, and then it is a bit of a drive to the theatre besides.

"Thursday, we will be measuring for costumes. You will arrive at the same time you did today, and you will be measured on a first come, first served basis. Please make sure you have your librettos with you, as we will be having group discussions after the measuring is over. Also, do not try to lose any weight between now and Thursday. I will be keeping track of you to be sure that it doesn't happen, because I don't want to have any issues with ill-fitting costumes. Any questions?"

Claire was met with silence and eyes that were glued to the calendar.

"Friday, Saturday and Monday, we will be having a sing-through with a pianist present, so please be sure to bring your pink book.

"We will be having read-throughs Tuesday through Thursday, so please bring your libretto. You do not need your pink book, as we will merely be reading on those days."

Claire stopped for another drink and stared at the group for a moment. "If you have any questions, please feel free to interrupt me at any time."

No vocal response…Just nods.

"Friday, Saturday and Monday will be blocking act one and Tuesday through Thursday is blocking for act two. Everyone needs to be present because we will be blocking the scenes in order. This also means you need to bring your libretto, so please make sure you do so.

"Friday the 28th begins a week-long odyssey with Bagaelia. Yes, you will need to bring your dancing shoes, but no, please do not leave your brains and librettos at home, because we will be practicing a bit afterwards.

"The orchestra will begin on Tuesday, November 1st. They will be quite familiar with their parts by then, so they will be able to play for you during part of your choreography rehearsals, and for all of our reading rehearsals.

"You are expected to be off-script by Wednesday the 2nd, so I am amending the bring-your-libretto rule for the last two days of the dance rehearsal.

"Regular rehearsals commence on Friday the 4th, and will continue for the rest of the month, unless otherwise noted. This means you are to arrive at 6:00 a.m. for your time with Bagaelia. You will rehearse the dance portions until noon, when you will be given an hour for lunch. The formal vocal warm-up will be at 1:00 p.m. and actual rehearsals start at 1:30."

"I have a question."

"Yes, Doctor House?"

"Why do we have to be here so early?"

"Because the afternoon and evening hours are currently occupied. The cast of _the Phantom of the Opera_ is here from 6:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. I get 90 minutes to go home and have a bit of a reprieve, and then I am back here at 6:00 p.m. for the closing rehearsals of _uP tHiNg_ – which opens October 16th, I might add – which takes me until 11:00 p.m. After that, I go home, work on my parts and things for an hour, go to bed at midnight, and then I am back up at 5:15 to be here and start my day all over again."

Murmurs of amazement filled the air, and Eric raised his hand after a moment.

"Yes, Doctor Foreman?"

"Why do we spend six hours on choreography?"

"Have you not seen the show, Doctor?"

He shook his head.

"_Phantom of the Opera _is a very dance-intensive show, a lot of which is either ballet or ballroom. Actually, you should be glad you weren't cast in _uP tHiNg_ – they have been rehearsing 12 hours a day and most of that show is dance. Does that answer your question?"

He nodded.

"Good. Now, I don't suppose I can go any farther without announcing the cast, so please listen carefully if you've let your mind wander these last few moments.

"Monsieur Reyer and the Auctioneer will be played by Alan Richards.

"The part of Monsieur LeFevre and one of the Porter parts goes to Charles Strathmore.

"Joseph Buquet will be played by Alfred Mullins.

"Toby Dykstra will be playing the parts of Don Attilo, Passarino and the Slave Master. Alex Miller is the Flunky, the Stagehand, the Policeman and one of the Pages.

"I have cast Christina Simpson in the parts of the Second Porter, the Fireman and the Second Page. Melanie Johnson will be playing the parts of the Wardrobe Mistress and Madame Firmin.

"Tara Daily is the Innkeeper's Wife and the Princess, and I have chosen Romy Byrne and Rebecca Laurie as the leaders of the 'Ballet Rats'."

Shuffling her papers around, Claire gave a small smile. "And now, I will announce the bigger parts."

All of the doctors – except House – looked at each other anxiously. None of them had been called yet, and the best parts were still waiting to be handed out.

"Monsieur Firmin and Monsieur Andre will be played by James Wilson and Thomas Foster, respectively.

"Madame Giry will be played by Stacy Warner and Meg Giry will be played by Katherine Simpson. I have also selected Eric Foreman to play Ubaldo Piangi"

Lisa reached over the seat in front of her to grasp Allison's hand. It was between the two of them for Christine, and between House and Chase for the Phantom.

* * *

**A/N:** And I have to leave you hanging, because I'm mean like that! 

Stay tuned until tomorrow, when I will announce the results of the casting call!


	4. Planning Period II

**A/N: **And now – after endless hours of torture, and for all that is good and random (to quote the fourth reviewer, Adele) – the conclusion of "Planning Period".

_**Standard Disclaimer Still Applies**_

* * *

Chapter Four  
_Planning Period II_

"The part of Raoul will be played by Robert Chase and the part of Carlotta Giudicelli will be played by Lisa Cuddy, leaving Allison Cameron to the part of Christine and Doctor Gregory House to play the Phantom of the Opera!"

Time slowed and seemed to swirl around the four doctors like mother-of-pearl frosting as the tension finally broke and the cast released an audible sigh of relief. In a short moment, however, time sped back up; finding Lisa and Allison grabbing each other like little school girls and jumping for joy in the aisle, while Chase patted House on the shoulder and murmured his congratulations.

Claire was beaming. "I'm glad everyone is pleased with my selections, but there will be plenty of time for celebrating later. Shall we get back to work?"

Realizing they were being called out, Drs. Cameron and Cuddy let go of each other and returned to their seats, flushed with embarrassment.

"I have scheduled costume fittings for Friday, November 19th, so hopefully they will be done by then. You will come in one by one for your fittings, so please make a note of your call time.

"I expect to see Dr. House at 6:00 a.m., followed by Dr. Cameron at 6:30. Doctor Chase will follow her at 7:00, and Dr. Wilson and Mr. Foster have been scheduled for 7:30. I need to see Dr. Cuddy promptly at 8:00 a.m., followed by Ms. Warner and Miss Simpson at 8:30. 9 o'clock is Dr. Foreman, 9:30 is Mr. Richards and Mr. Strathmore; 10 is Mr. Mullins and Mr. Dykstra, 10:30 is Mr. Miller and Miss Simpson, 11 is Mrs. Johnson and Ms. Daily and I expect to see the Ballet Rats at 11:30 for a group fitting.

"Why I have to be here so early?" House grumbled. "I have some complicated costumes, don't I? Why I can't _I _come in at 11?"

"Because we are also having a bit of a rehearsal that day. You will show me your skills after your fitting, and then you and Dr. Cameron will rehearse together, and then Dr. Chase will join you, and so on and so forth."

House sneered, but said nothing.

"Don't expect any downtime on Saturday…We're having a makeup test that day to make sure the makeup department knows what they're doing for each of you, and to make sure _you _know what you're doing, as some of you will be expected to do your own makeup for the dress rehearsals and each performance. This is also a heavily scheduled day, so please make a note of your times.

"The Ballet Rats will have a group makeup session at 6:00 a.m., Daily and Johnson will come in at 7:00, and I will see young Miss Simpson and Mr. Miller at 7:30. Dykstra and Mullins, I need you at 8:00, Strathmore and Richards, 8:30 and Wilson and Foster at 9:00. I would like to see Dr. Foreman at 9:30, elder Simpson and Ms. Warner at 10:00 and Dr. Cuddy needs to be here by 10:45. Doctor Chase, if you would come at 11:30, the makeup department will probably be able to see Dr. Cameron by 12:15. As for our star, I am told the makeup people will see Dr. House at 1:00 and hope to be done by 4:00." Claire took a sip of her water. "Speaking of which, Dr. House, do you have a problem?"

"Yes, in fact I do. Why the hell does the makeup department want to spend three hours with me?"

"Why Gregory, I thought you knew!"

"Knew what?"

"The Phantom doesn't hide in the bowels of the opera house because he lacks your rapier wit…It's because he was born with a birth defect…A rather mangled face. You'll have to shave so that the prosthetics will fit properly and not destroy your skin when the makeup department takes them off. They'll slick your hair back (and put a wig on later), exfoliate your face, moisturize it, then attach the prosthetic pieces, put in your contacts and airbrush your face to pull it all together. It's a very involved process…Takes about three hours."

Cowed for once, House slid down into his seat.

"On the 18th, we'll begin a week of technical rehearsals. The light and sound people will have practiced several times by then, but we'll have to make sure everything is adjusted and synchronized. Can't have a spotlight shining in Dr. Cuddy's eyes when she's trying to sing an aria!

"I don't know if it was a scheduling error or not, but fortunately, it's one in your favor. As the current calendar reads, you have the weekend of November 26th and 27th off. However, I wouldn't make any plans for that Saturday if I were you…We might need to stick in a rehearsal there.

"Otherwise, I will not see any of you again until the 28th when we have the first dress rehearsal. Unlike the majority of the month before, the dress rehearsals will take place from 6:00 p.m. to around 11:00 p.m., so make sure you make a note of that.

"Three dress rehearsals and the big night arrives! The curtain rises at 7:30 p.m. _sharp_ on December 1st!

"Well, that's it for today. We have eight long weeks of hard work ahead of us, but it will all turn out well in the end." Claire shut her notebook with a snap and looked out at her cast. "4:30 tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen…Don't forget! Cast dismissed!"

In a room of leaping hearts, Lisa Cuddy dropped a bomb. "Doctors, I expect to see you in the hospital conference room in ten minutes!"

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you, thank you, _thank you_ for all your kind words! I'd thank every reviewer personally for everything they've said, but then it would take a week every time I write a chapter!

Your devotion is truly meaningful…Keep reading, my friends…The best is yet to come!

**AYDY**


	5. Another Meeting

**A/N:** Some inflatable bitch with Dissociative Identity Disorder decided to try my patience, just because she was too slow to the punch. Luckily, the pen is mightier than the sword (and so is the block button)!

_**Standard Disclaimer Still Applies**_

* * *

Chapter Five  
_Another Meeting_

"He's not going to stick this out," declared Stacy.

Lisa nodded. "And if we pressure him, it's going to be like handing him a stick of butter: he'll slide right on through our fingers."

"I don't suppose a bet would hold him in place?"

Both women shook their heads at Doctor Wilson.

"If he's willing to turn in his stethoscope, a measly little bet isn't going to distract him."

"It _has _to be a superiority complex," Stacy agreed. "House is used to being here…He can bark orders and people will jump…or stretch their brains at a bare minimum. The theatre – on the other hand – is a different venue entirely. If we think Gregory rebels against authority now, just wait…He isn't going to like everything Claire intends to put him through, and it could be a major issue."

"Speaking of an issue…" Lisa tapped her watch. "There's going to be one if we don't get down to the conference room. Everyone is probably there by now."

* * *

**The Conference Room  
**A Short Time Later

* * *

"Let me take this opportunity to congratulate everyone on their parts. I realize it was all planned from the beginning and it was merely a matter of who got what role, but I will applaud everyone just the same. 

"I realize it's been a long day already, but please give me a moment of your time and a bit of your attention. My concerns are valid and some of these things may not have crossed your mind."

Doctor Cuddy sighed and poured herself a glass of water.

"I would like to remind all of you that you are doctors, first and foremost. Your medical duties come before all else, and you are expected to put in at least five hours a day here at the hospital, in addition to attending rehearsals and all other events related to the musical. On that note, let me also remind you that no matter _how _well rehearsal is going, if your pager goes off and you are needed here, you are to leave **immediately** and there is to be no hesitation.

"Second, I realize it is difficult to balance being a doctor and being in a musical, as both things are very time-involved. However, I have faith in all of you, and I know that you will be able to balance both and come through with excellence. Some of you had a few sleepless nights during medical school and occasionally during your residencies – I doubt the next eight weeks will be any different.

"Finally, I want you to be very, _very_ careful during rehearsals. Obviously, there shouldn't be too much of a worry, as we're all doctors, but I would like you to be on the safe side anyway. There are many dangers involved with this musical – in _any_ musical, I might imagine – and I would hate to see any of you become hurt, or worse, killed."

Doctor Cuddy came to her feet and gave each of her staff members a long, hard look. "I want you to do me proud out there…Now get going!"

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for the short chapter…I'm having a bit of trouble getting this to take off. Any suggestions are welcome! 


	6. Friday the 14th

**A/N:** I did not realize it until a few moments ago, but the official _Phantom _website says that in the 2004 touring cast, Piangi is/was played by a black gentleman.

Talk about a coincidence!

88888

I also wanted to let you know that I was going to have a time where House contemplated the libretto alone and then do a chapter for each day of the week…But I think I'm going to take Regina's advice and get to the good stuff…

88888

_**This is the last time I'm going to say it (from now on, it's assumed you know): STANDARD DISCLAIMER STILL APPLIES!**_

* * *

Chapter Six  
_Friday the 14th_

"From the _back_?"

Claire frowned, but didn't deign to answer. She had a feeling that Dr. House intended to give her a hard time about _everything_ for the next seven weeks, so it was best to start ignoring him now.

"Mr. Sullivan, are you ready?"

"As my director commands!"

Smiling at the variation on Carlotta's line, Claire nodded at the maestro. "Full Company, on stage please.

"We will be singing 'Down Once More…/ Track Down This Murderer…' All set then? From the top please…And five, six, seven, eight!"

The director gave the downbeat and Sullivan started into the song. Claire beamed upon hearing everyone together and in tune…so it took her a few moments to realize Someone wasn't singing. The frown strolled back onto her face and she signaled the cut-off.

"What is your excuse, Dr. House?"

"I can't find the song."

Claire made a derisive noise. "It's in the back of the book. Both songs are sung together, and are therefore the last few pages. It shouldn't be hard to figure out which is which…The titles are in bold, twenty point font, and you have the first few verses of 'Down Once More'.

"I believe it goes something like…"

Sullivan tinkled the first few notes on the piano.

"Down once more / to the dungeon / of my black despair! Down we plunge / to the prison / of my mind!"

The director made the last note linger for a moment after the maestro stopped playing, and everyone applauded. Fixing House with an icy stare, Claire continued.

"Do you think you can find that, Doctor, or do you need me to come over there and assist you personally?"

House jumped slightly. "No, that's okay. I think I can handle it."

Claire turned to the maestro. "My apologies, Mr. Sullivan. Shall we begin again?"

"As long as everyone is ready, Ms. Havilland."

The director nodded, turned back to the Company and struck up the tune once again. This time – with a slight prompt – House sang his part and the rest of the group joined him when the time came. Claire was beaming when she made the cut-off.

"Excellent! Excellent! I see no reason why we should shuffle everyone around for every song, outside of the fact that we could rehearse the songs in order.

"To the beginning of the act then: 'Masquerade / Why So Silent'. Doctor Wilson has the opening line for this one…And; five, six, seven, eight!"

They rehearsed in this vein for some time, getting through all the Company parts before moving through to the large groups of seven and eight. Claire gave everyone a break after "Magical Lasso", then summoned Drs. Cameron, Chase and Cuddy for the rehearsal of "Think of Me". The sing-through went quite a bit further, up until Allison and Katherine were about to begin "Angel of Music".

"Is there a problem, ladies? Kat, you have the two opening verses."

The two young women had taken their places onstage and Katherine had prepared to sing, even to the point of inflating her diaphragm. But she suddenly deflated; staring at a spot over Claire's left shoulder.

"I think Dr. House has a question, _maestra_."

The director rolled her eyes. "Doctor House _always_ has a question, Ms. Simpson. But for once, I think I shall indulge him."

Turning on her podium, Claire said, "Yes, Dr. House? How may I help you?"

"Well, you're up there, dancing away with your baton and Sullivan is with you, banging away on the piano. You told us that he would be directing the orchestra for the show, so I suppose it's safe to assume that he has some sort of musical talent. Nonetheless, you yourself have not done _anything _to prove your skill. How do we know you can carry a tune in a bucket?"

"I can carry a tune in a thimble, if necessary."

"Are you asking Ms. Havilland to sing, Doctor House?"

He smirked at Doctor Cameron. "I believe that was the general idea, yes."

Most of the Company glared at their castmate.

"She's the director, Gregory!" Tara Daily snapped. "She shouldn't have to prove herself!"

Claire held up a placating hand. "No…No, Dr. House is right. I have done absolutely _nothing _to prove I know the slightest thing about music. It should be no problem for me to sing a little something."

"Take 'Angel of Music' from the top, Havilland."

"That's _quite _enough directing out of you, Doctor House!"

"Calm down, Mr. Sullivan…Calm down."

At the request in Claire's voice, Sullivan gave House one last glower and turned back to his piano.

"Do you remember my favorite song, Geoffrey?"

"I think so, yes."

"Alright…Whenever you're ready, then."

Nodding, Sullivan played the first few cords to the song, while Claire took a singing stance and met House's defiant gaze.

_I know there's something in the wake of your smile.  
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah.  
You've built a love, but that love falls apart.  
Your little piece of heaven turns to dark._

A smile crossing her face, Claire took a breath and went on.

_Listen to your heart  
when she's calling for you.  
Listen to your heart  
there's nothing else you can do.  
I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why,  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell her goodbye._

Glancing away from his eyes for a moment, the director discovered that her insolent actor seemed to be relaxing a bit.

_Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.  
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.  
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems…  
the feeling of belonging to your dreams._

Claire went into the chorus for a second time and realized that not only was House listening raptly -- and without complaint -- but that the entire Company was hanging on her words. The looks on their faces told her that they wondered if she had written the song especially for him…Too bad she hadn't…

_And there are voices  
that want to be heard.  
So much to mention…  
but you can't find the words.  
The scent of magic…  
the beauty that's been…  
when love was wilder than the wind._

Soaring into the closing lines of the song, Claire put more energy in than she ever had before. The director had closed her eyes for the last little bit, and when the music died away, Claire was startled back to reality by a huge round of applause. Unsurprisingly, House was the only one who didn't seem thrilled with her performance.

"Now that that's over…" Claire pasted a fresh frown on her face and turned back to Katherine and Allison. "Are we ready to tackle 'Angel of Music'? I can assure you, it's a much prettier song than the one I just sang…"

* * *

**A/N: **The song credit this time goes to DHT for "Listen to Your Heart". 

88888

By the way: the title was not a pun on "Friday the 13th" or on bad luck or anything like that. It's just how I'm going to indicate the show chapters. For example, I will probably skip eight days of rehearsal for the next related chapter, so chapter eight will be called "Tuesday the 25th" instead of something like "First Day of Blocking for Act Two".


	7. Conflicts

**A/N: **Alright…I had intended to put in **many **more hospital scenes before this, but it didn't happen.

Thus, a brief interlude from the world of _Phantom_.

* * *

Chapter Seven  
_Conflicts_

"I don't like this."

"Nor do I."

"I _told _them they couldn't ignore their clinic hours, but they go off and do it anyway."

"That's true, Doctor Cuddy. But didn't you tell them that they also needed to be gung-ho about their roles in the musical?"

"You're right, Martha," sighed Lisa. "I need to call a meeting."

* * *

**Office of Doctor Lisa Cuddy**

Twenty Minutes Later

* * *

"We need to re-prioritize, people. Nurse Howard says clinic hours are down, patient happiness is down…Even the number of patients are down!

"I realize I told you that you needed to give _Phantom _your all, but your jobs are more important, people. In fact, I **believe** I told you that being here was more important than being at rehearsal, did I not?"

Before anyone could answer her question, Dr. Cuddy plunged on. "I don't want to do this – especially since I enjoy playing Carlotta thoroughly – but rehearsals are postponed until further notice. In fact, I think I'm going to call Ms. Havilland and tell her to cancel the musical outright. Heaven knows she can't run the musical without all of us!"

The staff members nodded glumly, but Lisa missed that. She had her head cocked sideways and a weird look on her face.

"What was that?"

Stacy stared at her friend. "What was what?"

Doctor Cuddy held up a finger. "Shh…Listen!"

A chuckle danced through the air.

"**What?"**

"**Shh!" **A snicker.

"**What'd you do?"**

"**My ring…I can't find my ring!"**

"**What do you mean; you can't find your ring? Since when do you wear a ring?"**

The sound of flesh hitting flesh; then more whispers.

"**You know! My class ring! The one I got during medical school!"**

A frown carved onto her face, Cuddy reached out and yanked the door of the nearby closet so hard, she nearly tore it off its hinges. Stepping aside, Lisa revealed Drs. House and Wilson stuffed inside, along with a few lab coats and Cuddy's favorite trench coat. The two men were clutching a pizza box and they had sheepish looks on their faces. Worse, James' missing ring rolled out at that moment and hit Lisa's foot.

"What is the meaning of this! No…Never mind…I don't want to know!"

Doctor Cuddy whirled around on the gathered group. "All of you – out!"

They obediently shuffled away, but Chase moved closer to Wilson. "Can I have a piece?"

"I said _out_, Doctor Chase!" Turning back, Lisa barked, "Not you two. Sit! Stay!"

Obeying her command, House and Wilson dropped into the chairs opposite Cuddy's desk. Lisa poured herself a glass of water from a carafe standing on a filing cabinet and then took her own seat. "Explain yourselves."

"I…we…" James twisted his ring anxiously, now that he had put it back on, and looked at House.

"Why were you trying to skip the meeting?"

"We were hungry," growled House.

"We needed a little time to ourselves," Wilson wheedled.

"We thought you'd be in the conference room…"

"So we thought it was prudent to hide in your closet…"

"Because it was the last place you thought I'd look," finished Cuddy.

James looked down at the floor, but Gregory continued to stare Lisa in the eye.

"Fifty extra clinic hours over the next two weeks."

Wilson beamed. "Oh, we can handle that! Twenty five each, then 12½ this week and 12½ next week!"

"Fifty hours for _each _of you."

"Guess we'd better go home and get some sleep, Greg, 'ole buddy."

"Fifty hours starting _now_, Doctor Wilson!"

The two gentlemen stood up and House gave Wilson the brunt of his sharp elbow.

"Ow!"

"It's all your fault!"

"Mine! You wanted a pizza, too!"

* * *

**A/N:** I'd like to give a special thank you to PrincessCat…Without her; this chapter would've been _extremely_ boring! 


	8. Fight

**A/N: **Well, once again, the world is saved by PrincessCat…And for that (pardon the rhyme); she is a permanent member of my creative team!

88888

**WARNING: **Because there is a fight scene in this chapter, expect explicit language. I also apologize ahead of time if I make any offensive remarks.

* * *

Chapter Eight  
_Fight_

Lisa gave Claire her prettiest smile. "I'm sure you understand."

"No, actually, I _don't _understand. I don't understand how you could make a commitment – one that you _knew _was going to take up a lot of your time – and then go off and throw it away like a used syringe."

"Well, you'll just _have _to understand…And I can call Security to help you with your comprehension, if you like."

In one smooth motion, Claire came to her feet, grabbed Lisa's collar and yanked her halfway across the mahogany desk between them. "You apparently can't comprehend my situation, you little bitch. The whole fucking theatre is booked for the _entire_ two week run! Every damn seat…Standing room _only_, little whore! I don't have your gigantic doctor's salary to keep me going – if this show doesn't go on, I'm ruined!"

Cuddy couldn't think of a good reply, so she did the next best thing.

"Ooof!"

She punched Havilland.

* * *

**Outside Dr. Cuddy's Office  
**About 3 Minutes Later

* * *

"What are you staring at?"

Eric and Rob had been walking down the hall, discussing a case, when Rob stopped short and stared through the window beside him. Slightly nudging Dr. Chase out of the way, Dr. Foreman moved closer.

"It's Claire…"

"And Cuddy…"

"And they're fighting…"

"We should call someone."

Eyes still attached to the window, Rob reached down to the cell phone that was dangling from his belt and fingered the speed-dial number that would make Allison's pager buzz. The two men were so fascinated – and so turned on – by the bitch fight in front of them, that they didn't try to break up the fight. Nor did they move an inch when not only did Allison arrive to attempt to break up the fight, but ended up joining in.

The smiles of the guys got wider when the bitch fight became three-way, and they had to struggle not to laugh in delight.

"Maybe we should call someone _else_."

Not even bothering to nod, Eric reached for his phone and mechanically punched in the number that would summon House, while Rob secretly called Wilson to back them up.

"And no one called the cafeteria to get oil."

A rhythmic tapping sound accompanied four feet and the presence of two more bodies. Realizing the two young doctors weren't going to answer, House continued,

"Of course not. Couldn't pry yourselves away from the beautiful women."

Being the only man with enough willpower to do anything, House nudged Wilson.

"Go prepare a trauma room. At least one of them is going to end up with a broken bone or two, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were a few lacerations to patch up, as well."

"Huh? Oh…Right."

Greg watched as Jim sauntered away, just to make sure he did not intend to sneak back to continue adding to the lake of drool already at their feet. When he was satisfied, House focused on the two nitwits beside him and decided the best way to get their attention was a blow across the knees from his cane.

"Ow!"

"Time to stop gaping like a pair of love-sick idiots and go in there and break up the fight."

Without even waiting for their nodded assent, House barged through the door.

"I'd hate to break a pretty woman's heart, but _Wrestlemania_ is over for today."

Laying his cane aside, Greg gamely waded into the melee. After a moment, he saw an opening and yanked Claire's arm as hard as he could. Taking their cue, Rob and Eric stepped in and tried their best to separate the three women. Everything was a mess of hands and hair and warm bodies for quite a length of time, so no one really knew how it came to be that House had Havilland by the forearms and was looking into her eyes so intensely that it was clear that they were about to kiss.

Seconds away from leaning in for the big moment, Greg noticed out of the corner of his eye that everyone was staring at the two of them pretty intensely – no one more so than Rob. Pasting his old frown back on his face, House leaned over instead and gave Havilland a chaste, fatherly peck on the forehead before pushing her toward Chase.

"Take these three battling beauties to the ER. Doctor Wilson is waiting to look them over and patch them up if need be."

Leaving the bewildered group staring, House limped out of Cuddy's office and out of sight.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry…I don't board 'ships! (LOL)

Not to worry…the show _will _eventually go on. I promise!


	9. Change of Heart

Chapter Nine  
_Change of Heart_

"Ah, here she is now!" Stacy beamed at Lisa, who was hobbling up the hall on crutches. "Do you have a moment, Lis? There's someone here I'd like you to meet."

The doctor nodded and methodically made her way over to the bank of chairs where her friend was standing.

"Lisa, this is Mr. Webber. Mister Webber, this is Dr. Lisa Cuddy, the hospital's administrator." Standing up straighter, Stacy glanced in the direction from which Lisa had come. "Ah…here's our most talented immunologist now!"

Seeing Stacy beckon, Allison strolled over to the little group.

"Mr. Webber, this is Dr. Allison Cameron."

The gentleman put out his hand for Allison to shake, but quickly changed to his other when he realized that Allison's arm was in a sling.

"Ooo…Ooo…Claire? Claire!" Lisa was waving her hand so much, she was fairly dancing. "Could you come here for a second?"

When the director was close enough to hear what was being said, Stacy continued. "Mr. Webber, this is Ms. Claire Havilland, our director."

Instead of sticking out her hand to shake, Claire blanched and shot a quick look at the woman next to her. "Did you say Mr. _Webber_?"

Stacy nodded and Claire went to her knees, tears forming in her eyes. "A pleasure, Sir."

Seeing Claire's reaction and hearing the hoarseness that had crept into her voice, Allison caught on and paled. "Oh…Oh…!"

It took Lisa a moment to get on the same page, but when she did, she attempted to bring the gentleman to his feet and drag him to her recently-tidied office.

* * *

**Cuddy's Office  
**A Bit Later

* * *

"A sprained ankle, a broken wrist, two black eyes and some grazed knuckles. Must have been some patient."

Cuddy blushed and pretended to look at something on her desk. "It wasn't a patient."

"Oh?"

Gulping, Lisa confessed. "I got into a fight with Ms. Havilland and Dr. Cameron – it took three other doctors to break us up."

"You mean to tell me…?" The gentleman chuckled. "Ms. Havilland turned out fairly well, considering what happened."

"I was the one who instigated the fight, after Ms. Havilland told me she was unwilling to accept the fact that she would have to cancel the show." Cuddy smiled sheepishly. "I think Dr. Cameron was the one who gave Ms. Havilland the lovely black eye she's sporting, and I may have been the one to decorate Dr. Cameron likewise. Alas, it remains a mystery as to how I sprained my ankle and Dr. Cameron broke her wrist."

Mr. Webber sat back and pressed the tips of his fingers together. "It amazes me to think one of my own creations would cause such a large commotion."

"One of _your_ creations, sir?" Lisa was clearly confused. "I thought it was written by Monsieur Leroux?"

"It was – but I wrote the musical. And I _highly _doubt that three ladies of your stature would be fighting over something as paltry as a book. Am I correct?"

Lisa didn't respond, instead choosing to turn her gaze back to the desk.

"It was Ms. Havilland's show that I came to speak with you about, nevertheless."

"Oh?"

Mr. Webber nodded. "I have heard tell that Ms. Havilland is quite a talented young lady. Does she appear to be an adequate director to you, Dr. Cuddy?"

"To a certain extent."

"At any rate, I have decided that it is _vitally_ important that I see this show and – therefore – that it must go on. Do you understand, Doctor?"

"I do."

"As such, I have determined that I will donate an…adequate…sum of money to the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, should this show manage to not only be performed, but receive excellent reviews as well. In fact, if Ms. Havilland does my original vision enough justice, I shall see to it that a third of the remuneration is donated in my name, a third in the name of Ms. Havilland, and the final third in _your_ name, Dr. Cuddy."

Lisa's eyes widened. "That would be wonderful, Mr. Webber."

"In addition, I plan to ensure the superior performance of each of the actors this hospital provides by extending invitations to Mr. Crawford, Ms. Brightman and the rest of the principals from the original cast. I may even expand the invitation to include some of the principals from previous touring companies, should things turn out in a pleasurable manner."

The gentleman leaned forward and folded his hands on the edge of Lisa's desk. "Do you understand what I'm getting at, Dr. Cuddy?"

Lisa nodded so rapidly, she could have made a bobble-head ill. "Yes, Mr. Webber. I understand completely."

"The show must go on, Doctor." The gentleman rose and headed for the door. "Don't disappoint me."


	10. Thursday the 27th

**A/N: **The lines in bold after Claire sets up the blocking are song lyrics (this is also how the songs are notated in the libretto).

* * *

Chapter Ten  
_Thursday the 27th_

"Now that we've got that settled…" Claire heaved a sigh and flipped through her book until she reached the calendar. "Today is October 27th. We are currently about five days behind. In the next 28 days, we need to block the entire musical, learn the dances for the entire musical (none of which are very easy, I might add), have the first rehearsal with the orchestra, get off the libretto, establish regular rehearsals, fit costumes, test makeup, conduct the technical rehearsals and complete the dress rehearsals before the show opens December 1st.

"If we are not prepared, we will get _appalling _reviews, embarrass the **shit** out of ourselves at the Grand Gala on the 3rd and lose the hospital a bare minimum of $3 million dollars." Closing the book with a snap, the director looked out over the audience. "Doctor Cuddy, are the temporaries in place?"

Lisa nodded. "They were to start promptly at five this morning and they will rotate through eight-hour shifts until midnight on December 3rd."

"Excellent. Hear that, everyone? No one is permitted to be at the hospital unless they are receiving treatment. Doctor Cuddy will be dismissed an hour early every day so she can start on her administrative work. As for Doctor House, he will report his Vicodin supply to me every morning…if he is running low, I will send someone out for a refill so he can stay here and rehearse. Which reminds me…

Claire looked down at the doctors, who were all sitting together. "We'll be rotating assistants and prescribing doctors so the corner pharmacy won't become suspicious."

* * *

**A Short Time Later**

* * *

"Doctor House, if you go backstage, there will be a small group of technicians there that will fit you with a harness that will not only lift you to your hiding place at the top of the stairs, but support you so that you do not have to worry about your cane. 

"Doctor Cameron, take your place toward my left, near the edge of the stage. Doctor Chase, your place is beside her, on the side nearest the stairs. Doctor Wilson, you will be on the stairs, fourth from the top, and your partner will be next to you. Mister Foster, stand near Dr. Wilson – as if you're conversing – but stand on the third stair from the top. Mister Foster's partner will stand near him, as if she is conversing with Doctor Wilson's partner.

"Doctor Cuddy, stand on the opposite side of the stage from Doctor Cameron – And make sure you're standing directly across from her. Ms. Warner, please stand on the sixth stair from the top…It doesn't matter where, just stand there."

Accepting a drink from one of her assistants, Claire turned the page and continued. "Doctor Foreman, please stand next to Doctor Cuddy and opposite Doctor Chase. Mister Richards, please stand on the bottom landing and turn so that the right side of your face is toward the audience – the orchestra will be across from you, and the actual conductor will be tucked into the alcove under the staircase.

"Ms. Simpson, please take your place next to Ms. Warner. Mister Strathmore, you'll be on the floor, but toward the center as part of the Company. Mister Mullins, you will be placed on the floor as well, but try to stand away from Mister Strathmore. Mr. Dykstra, floor; Mr. Miller, floor; Ms. Simpson, floor; Ms. Daily, floor and Ms. Johnson, floor.

"Ballet Rats, I'd like you to scatter yourselves on the stairs, but stay away from the top two steps and don't stand on the bottom landing, either. Can I get one or two Company members to fill in where there aren't any Ballet Rats? Thank you. Spread out please, ladies and gentlemen…I want the stairs to look _full_."

The director gestured to a few of the stage hands, who ran out from the wings and adjusted people so that everything looked good. When she was satisfied, Claire flipped to the beginning of the second act.

"All set? Managers, you have the first two speaking lines, and Dr. Wilson has the opening verse of the song. The song exchanges from Dr. Wilson to Mr. Foster, to Wilson, to Foster, to a line in unison, back to Wilson, and then all of you come in after the word 'here'." Claire pattered down the stairs and to her seat in the third row. "From the top then…Five, six, seven, eight!"

"M'sieur Firmin?"

"M'sieur Andre?"

"**Dear Andre, what a splendid party!"**

"**The prologue to a bright new year!"**

"**Quite a night! I'm impressed!"**

"**Well, one does one's best…"**

"**Here's to us!"**

"**I must say all the same, that it's a shame that 'Phantom' fellow isn't here!"**

There was a cymbal crash, then:

"**Masquerade! ****Paper faces on parade…****Masquerade! ****Hide your face, ****so the world will never find you!**

"**Masquerade! ****Every face a different shade…****Masquerade! ****Look around – ****there's another mask behind you!**

"**Flash of mauve…****Splash of puce…****Fool and king…****Ghoul and goose…****Green and black…****Queen and priest…****Trace of rouge…****Face of beast…**

"**Faces…****Take your turn, ****take a ride on the merry-go-round…****In an inhuman race…**

"**Eye of gold…****Thigh of blue…****True is false…****Who is who…? ****Curl of lip…****Swirl of gown…****Ace of hearts…****Face of clown…**

"**Faces…****Drink it in, ****drink it up, ****until you've drowned in the light…****In the sound…"**

"Loudly, Rob and Ali! We need to hear you over the orchestra and the Company's collective breath!"

"**But who can name the face…"**

"Back to Company in three, two…"

"**Masquerade! ****Grinning yellows, ****spinning reds…****Masquerade! ****Take your fill – ****Let the spectacle astound you!**

"**Masquerade! ****Burning glances, ****turning heads…****Masquerade! ****Stop and stare at the sea of smiles around you!**

"**Masquerade! ****Seething shadows, ****breathing lies…****Masquerade! ****You can fool any friend who ever knew you!**

"**Masquerade! ****Leering satyrs, ****peering eyes…****Masquerade! ****Run and hide – ****but a face will still pursue you!"**

"Individual parts now! Doctor Cuddy, you're up!"

"**What a night!"**

"**What a crowd!"**

"**Makes you glad!**

"**Makes you proud! All the crème de la crème!"**

"**Watching us watching them!"**

"In unison, Girys!"

"**And all our fears are in the past!"**

"**Six months…"**

"**Of relief!"**

"**Of delight!"**

"In unison, managers!"

"**Of Elysian peace!"**

"Once again, Girys!"

"**And we can breathe at last!"**

"**No more notes!"**

"**No more ghost!"**

"**Here's a health!"**

"**Here's a toast: to a prosperous year!"**

"**To the new chandelier!"**

"Let's hear it, Eric and Lisa!"

"**And may its splendor never fade!"**

"**Six months!"**

"**What a joy!"**

"**What a change!"**

"Your cue, managers!"

"**What a blessed release!"**

"**And what a masquerade!"**

"Focus to Christine and Raoul!"

"**Think of it! A secret engagement! Look – your future bride! Just think of it!"**

"**But why is it secret? What have we to hide?"**

"**Please, let's not fight…"**

"**Christine, you're free!"**

"**Wait till the time is right…"**

"**When will that be? It's an engagement, not a crime! Christine, what are you afraid of?"**

"**Let's not argue…" "Let's not argue…"**

"**Please pretend…" "I can only hope I'll…"**

"**You will…" (Pause)**

"In unison, please!"

"…**understand in time…"**

"Focus on the Company!"

"**Masquerade! ****Paper faces on parade! ****Masquerade! ****Hide your face, ****so the world will never find you!**

"**Masquerade! ****Every face a different shade! ****Masquerade! ****Look around – ****there's another mask behind you!**

"**Masquerade! ****Burning glances, ****turning heads…****Masquerade! ****Stop and stare at the sea of smiles around you!**

"**Masquerade! ****Grinning yellows, ****spinning reds…****Masquerade! ****Take your fill – l****et the spectacle astound you!"**

"Grand cue to Gregory!"

Following Claire's shout, House began to descend the stairs. He looked a bit awkward without his cane, but the wooden movements required in this section were obvious, and that was the most important part.

"**Why so silent, good messieurs? Did you think that I had left you for good? Have you missed me, good messieurs? I have written you an opera!"**

House yanked the imaginary libretto from his imaginary cape.

"**Here I bring the finished score – _Don Juan Triumphant_!"**

The doctor-turned-actor threw the libretto to Foster.

"**I advise you to comply – my instructions should be clear – remember, there are worse things than a shattered chandelier…"**

Having said that, House finished staggering downstairs and tottered Cameron's direction. A small look crossed Greg's face that indicated to Claire that he was feeling a bit more assured of himself because of the wires, so there was a smile on Claire's face by the time House reached Cameron's side.

Snatching the imaginary necklace from around Allison's neck, Greg sang out,

"**Your chains are still mine – you will sing for me!"**

"_¡Excelente¡Excelente!_ Gregory, you sing _como un ángel!_ Let's move on to scene two!"


	11. If the Shoe Fits

**A/N: **In the words of House, "I'd hate to break a pretty woman's heart, but…" this series is just about over with. Cat and I have decided that there's no sense in beating a dead horse, so I'm going to write this one and three more after, and then declare it finished.

Enjoy it while you have it!

_Are You Dead Yet?_

* * *

Chapter Eleven  
_If the Shoe Fits…_

"C'mere…Your hat is crooked."

Grumbling, House ambled over to where Claire was standing. "Why?"

"Because they've got a lot to do…I told them just to get you in and out of each costume…I didn't say they had to be perfect!"

"That's not what I was referring to, Claire."

The director made an impatient noise, but didn't speak as she finished cleaning the doctor up. "There! Now, step back so I can see you properly!"

House moved back grudgingly, his cane tapping out his evident unhappiness. "You're avoiding the subject."

Satisfied with what she saw, Claire came down off the stepstool. "You want to talk about this? You want to discuss our feelings? Fine! Me first!

"I am aware that Dr. Chase is 'warm for my form' as the old phrase goes, and that you aren't too shy about your feelings either, but I'm taken."

"Why haven't you introduced him to us? You don't seem like the sort of woman to hide things."

Claire rolled her eyes. "I _have_ introduced him, you nincompoop! But of course, none of you realized we were involved."

Greg's left eyebrow flew toward his hairline. "Not what's-his-face? Parker? Or the conductor…Sullivan?"

"Sullivan's married with two children and I can say the same for Parker."

"Then who?"

"Remember Vic? The magician who commissioned _uP tHiNg_? He's leaving his wife for me."

House's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "I wouldn't expect an innocent young lady like you to like that sort of guy."

Claire laughed. "We've been having an affair for about three years now. Vic filed his divorce papers in May and proposed in June." The director held out her left hand, upon which a rather luscious sapphire was gleaming. "The divorce will be final next month, and we're going to be handfasted on Candlemas."

"Candlemas?"

"Candlemas, Imbolg, February 2nd…All the same to me."

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry for the short chapter…I expected the topic of costume fittings to be more interesting. Oh well…Cleared the air, at any rate!

88888

Also worth noting is the fact that Sarah Brightman's understudy was named _Claire_ Moore…A coincidence, I assure you!


	12. Barn Paint

**A/N: **Woo…Chapter crazy! I started with #9 earlier today, and now I'm here!

88888

This chapter got its title from my grandfather's nickname for makeup – and I'm sure I'm not the only one who has heard that nickname before!

* * *

Chapter Twelve  
_Barn Paint_

"No! Put it back into storage!" Realizing where she was standing, Claire leaned over. "Sorry, Allison. Did I yell in your ear?"

"Just slightly. I'll be okay, though."

Moving away in case she got excited, the director continued. "I realize the original vision of Christine was as a curly-headed brunette – which usually left the actress to wear a wig – but I've never like that. Your ruby locks are wonderful, darling, and I don't want to hide that. In fact, I'm not even going to let them curl your hair…Goddess forbid you should end up looking like an overgrown Little Orphan Annie!"

The two women giggled, then looked back at the makeup artist.

"What do you think, Kyra?"

"I think I can handle this," she replied confidently. "As you may have guessed, I've been trying to work out a set color scheme for each character – even those with multiple costume changes. I'm interested in attempting to develop a look that will go well with each costume and not make the actor or actress stick out like a whore."

"Are the Ballet Rats the easiest?"

Kyra nodded in response to Allison's question. "You want a soft color scheme that will go well with their rehearsal gowns, but one dark enough and bold enough to stick out onstage and not make them look as pale as ghosts."

"Be glad you don't have to do the Phantom!"

"Oh, heavens, yes!" Kyra smiled at Claire as she put the blush brush back into the caddy. "I'm thankful that a difficult case like that is left up to the prosthetics boys!"

Knowing that the aforementioned "boys" would need the space to work on Greg, Kyra chivvied Allison out of the chair and hurried to get packed up and get out of the way.

"Can I stay and watch?"

Kyra shrugged. "I don't see why not."

"Just as long as Dr. House doesn't mind," amended Claire.

"Speak of the devil!" Kyra pointed at a small group of men that was shuffling toward them.

As the cluster got closer, the women could see that it was House and his makeup artists. A few of them supported the doctor and the others guided the way to the chair. However, it was House that looked the most comical, his face slathered in a light blue mask and eyes covered in matching "Peepers". The sight of them caused the three women to giggle, but it was Claire who spoke.

"What did you _do _to him?"

"It's just a self-heating mask," explained the nearest of the technicians. "We shaved Dr. House and then sent him tanning. When he was done, we left the Peepers on, used some cleanser and then put on the mask to exfoliate his face."

"He's going to hate you for this!" Allison exclaimed.

"He'll thank us when it only takes a few minutes to take off the prosthetics!"

"How in the hell did you get him to stay so quiet?"

The technician standing near House's right shoulder beamed. "We allowed him to play a Playstation PSP for a half hour before we got started."

"We also introduced him to the joys of an MP3 player," added another. "We got our hands on the script from today's episode of _General Hospital_ and turned it into a podcast."

* * *

**The Main Stage of the Theatre  
**Around 4:10

* * *

"I can't see in this blasted stuff!"

"So complains all the Phantoms before you, too," soothed Allison.

"At least this is an improvement!" Claire added. "The original Phantom had _much _worse makeup and he was nearly blind between that and the contacts!"

"So am I!"

"You'll get used to it."

Greg leaned heavily on Claire's shoulder as she helped him into the boat.

"How am I supposed to pilot this damn thing if I can't even see?"

"You'll be able to see eventually!" Claire exclaimed. "Not that it matters. You just stand up in the back here and move your pole about in the fog, just high enough so it doesn't hit the stage. Allison sits in the front as if she's your navigator, but you don't need one. There's a mechanism that will take the boat along a proscribed path, so all you have to do is sing your part and move the pole from time to time."

"Are you going to start it now?"

The director shook her head. "They haven't got the piloting apparatus completely installed yet. In fact, I was lucky to be able to get the boat out of the shop.

"Alright, House. Prove to me you know your part. Allison, your cue…From the beginning of the scene, please."

"**In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came…That voice which calls to me and speaks my name…And do I dream again? For now I find the Phantom of the Opera is there – inside my mind."**

"**Sing once again with me our strange duet…My power over you grows stronger yet…And though you turn from me, to glance behind, the Phantom of the Opera is there – inside your mind…"**

"**Those who have seen your face draw back in fear…I am the mask you wear…"**

"**It's me they hear…"**

"**Your spirit and "My spirit and**

**My voice… Your voice...**

**In one combined: the Phantom of the Opera is there –**

**Inside my mind… Inside your mind…"**

Claire snapped her fingers in time to their _a capella_ to simulate the pre-recorded voices that came in at that point, then pointed at House.

"**In all your fantasies, you always knew that man and mystery…"**

"…**Were both in you…"**

"**And in this labyrinth where night is blind, the Phantom of the Opera**

"**Is here… "Is there…**

**Inside my mind…" Inside your mind…"**

"Sing, my Angel of Music!"

"**He's there…the Phantom of the Opera…"**

Closing her eyes, Allison began a wordless song that seemed to rock her whole being. The young doctor kept it up for a few moments, but as soon as Cameron went for the usually shrill cut-off, House silenced her song with his lips.

* * *

**A/N: **I may not "board 'ships", but I sure do like to stop by for a martini once in a while! (LOL) 


	13. Grand Gala

(**Warning – This story will not load properly, for whatever reason. Therefore, do _not _be surprised if it does not read right.)**

**A/N: **Okay…I'm cutting this off early. I hope you enjoyed the story!

The positive news is that after I tie up some loose ends (reviews for a group I'm in, one more fanfic and an original short story, to be specific), I plan to work on a regular _House_ fic.

_Happy Reading!_

* * *

Chapter Thirteen  
_Grand Gala_

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen! My name is Claire Havilland and I would like to welcome you to the Grand Gala performance of _the Phantom of the Opera_.

"For the last seven and a half weeks, the Angel Road Theatre Company has been preparing to present this musical. The cast members have put in countless hours – under my tutelage – to learn the story, songs and dance that make up the program. As such, I will not delay any further.

"I would like to thank you for coming this evening and now, I proudly present the Angel Road Theatre Company and _the Phantom of the Opera_."

Taking care to close the curtains behind her, Claire rustled across the stage at top speed. Before the train on the director's gown disappeared into the wings, there was a dramatic timpani roll and the orchestra began the overture. Alan Richards, Charles Strathmore and Robert Chase were waiting anxiously at the edge of the stage for their cues, and Claire felt sorry for them. Only a few more moments, and one of the biggest performance of their lives would begin.

Further in, Claire saw a crowd of people milling about. It was a mess, and she knew that they needed to get organized.

"Company members in front please! I need the Ballet Rats directly behind…Dr. Cameron and Miss Simpson, this includes you! Ms. Warner, I would like you at the head of the Ballet group – you need to keep them in line. Mister Richards will do his best to blend in with the Company, as he needs to move to the opposite side after the prologue. Doctor Cuddy, please stand behind the Company and don't worry about Doctor Foreman – he will enter from the opposite side of the stage after the first few verses of the song.

"Sweet Mother Goddess…I hope all of you are more prepared when it comes to scene two!"

* * *

**Shortly Before Scene 4  
**Still in Act 1

* * *

"Hurry, please, Rob!" Claire hissed from the wings.

Chase trotted as fast as he could offstage. Havilland – who had donned a headset after setting the prologue – pushed the doctor off for his costume change, and then began to rap out orders for the stage hands.

"Make sure Drs. House and Cameron are in the boat…Hand House his pole!"

Greg looked back and Claire gave him a thumbs-up.

"Hurry, hurry…Push, push, push! Those doctors need to be onstage _now_, people!"

The director watched approvingly as the boat started along the track and Allison broke into song. Claire lingered only a moment longer, then turned her back on the scene in front of her.

"Make sure the set pieces roll out in the proper order…They have to be in place by the time that boat completes its revolution!

"Where is everyone for scene seven? It will be here before they know it!"

Almost as soon as the words spilled from Claire's mouth, someone herded the necessary cast members into the wings.

"Don't worry about Drs. Cameron and House…They'll go to a separate curtain section, because they have to come back out shortly after they go off. Mister Mullins, please make sure you're at the head of the Ballet Rats – you're the vital opener in this scene. Miss Simpson, you're still the informal leader of the Rats – once you sit, Miss Byrne and Miss Laurie will follow, and then the rest will take their seats. Ms. Warner, I'd ask that you stay to the back of the Rats, as you do not have to enter right away."

Looking to the very back, Claire saw the actors who would be in the scene to follow, and she smiled.

* * *

**Opening of Act 2  
**Closing Minutes of the Intermission

* * *

Having socialized as much as possible for the time she had, Claire scrambled backstage and threw her headset back on over her French twist.

"The staircase is in place…Good. Are the mannequins in place? Terrific! Orchestra moved and set? Lovely! Has Dr. House been secured into his harness and did someone triple-check the wires? Excellent!

"To your marks, ladies and gentlemen! The intermission is almost over…places please! All of you did a first-rate job for the last act – let's keep up the good work!"

Noting that everyone was where they should be, Claire hustled into place and signaled the stage manager.

"Instruments up, orchestra! Back from intermission in five, four…"

* * *

**Close of Act 2  
**Moments before the End of the Musical

* * *

Greg and Ali were finishing up onstage, which was causing Claire to go crazy.

"If you are not in assigned group, please line up in front. Ballet Rats, behind the Company members – I want Romy in front and Becca bringing up the rear…Don't forget to hold hands, ladies! Behind the Ballet Rats, I want Tara, Melanie, Christina, Alex and Toby, in that order. Behind Toby should be Alfred, Charles and Alan. The eight of you should enter as a group.

"Stacy, you and Katherine will go out together. Everyone should be holding hands as they make their entrance, so they can go straight into the bow! Eric, you are to lead Lisa out. James and Thomas together, if you please. Robert, you will take a separate curtain call, followed by Allison and finally by Gregory."

Realizing she couldn't keep them in order for the entire wait, Claire hurried the half of the Company and Katherine up the nearest ladder, so they could climb down the portcullis in time to make their final cue. No sooner had the director boosted the last foot onto the ladder than the boat came in. Claire signaled to Chase to drop the pole and then helped Cameron get out without tearing her dress.

The director peered onto the stage just in time to see the torsos of the Company appear at the top of the portcullis, so she stood by tensely as House dissolved into his cloak and Katherine played her biggest part in the entire musical. Not even staying to watch the curtain close, Claire raced back to help the stage hands get House out of his harness, then threw him his prop cane so he'd be able to hobble out for his curtain call.

Before Claire even had time to think, the designated groups of actors were filing onto the stage and bowing. Leaving Greg to his own devices, Claire hurried along the line to make sure everyone was in order and that the bunches weren't crowding in on top of each other. The procession moved quickly, so the director was urging House onto the stage in no time. As expected, the crowd's reception of Greg was spectacular, and there were cheers and catcalls from all over the theatre. Having sent everyone out, Claire stood politely in the wings and applauded with the rest of the audience.

"Claire! Come on, Claire! Come out here!"

Unable to resist the pleas of the doctors, Claire glided out to the forefront of the Company and executed a deep curtsy. As she came back up, the director noticed that Andrew Lloyd Webber and his cadre of former cast members were in the front few rows – everyone was grinning from ear to ear, and applauding so hard, their hands were turning burgundy. Feeling one last burst of energy rising from the Company and a swell of music from the orchestra, the director moved back to stand between her two principals.

"**You alone can make our song take flight – help us make the Music of the Night!"**


End file.
